Made my way to Chicago suburb of Glendale Heights today! Nothing eventful happened along the way, however, I believe I have had an epiphany regarding traveling and eating at age 65! Perhaps a bit of background is necessary..........
Being a "Dean" by heredity, I abide by my Mother's rule of 'something to "mince" on while traveling is absolutely necessary. Consequently, I started my journey out by purchasing a McDonald's Mini Meal, which I have never had and thought the word "mini" to be meaningful; wrong. I just looked it up...670 calories and only God knows how many of those fall under that dastardly three letter word, FAT! I rationalized that this was really no big deal, because it was the first I had eaten today.
Unfortunately I had to stop and get a Wal-Mart gas card to save my 3 cents per gallon, and while I was there the Twizzler's "spoke" to me, screaming, "buy me, buy me"........so, naturally, I did. (mind you at this point I had not even opened my mini meal, but, one must be prepared for mincing!) After filling up with gas, I proceeded up the highway happily eating my mini meal and looking forward to my twizzlers....which were, by the way, the $1.00 bag; not the little bitty stuck together candy they sell by the candy bars. I managed to complete by mini meal and get a nice start on my Twizzler's by the time I reached Meramac Bottom Road (few miles south of 255 going into Illinois) when I stopped at a Cracker Barrel to purchase/rent a book on tape to aid in my entertainment as I travel. Wellllll, after eating 8 oz. of Twizzler's, I felt the need for something salty! I purchased, along with my book on tape and a new scarf, a bag of buttermilk potato chips (had never heard of these, so thought it would be unnatural not to try them). Yum, need I say more? Do you know how many potato chips you can unknowingly consume while traveling down the highway at 70 miles an hour listening to a book on tape? I do.......approximately a 12 oz bag! Oh dear. Well, when I realized I was nearly to the bottom of the bag, I did close the bag and refrain from eating any more! That is until I arrived at Lincoln, IL where they have a Russel Stover's chocolate store. After having eaten all those chips I was slightly parched......I had drank my diet coke, including chopping all the ice cubes, several miles back. I needed liquid refreshment! What better place to "refill" than the candy store. They had a major sale going on, 70 per cent off the Easter candy........well, WHAT A DEAL!!!!! I purchased coconut chocolates, mints, and chocolate bars, all for $4.30! Whoopee!
Need I tell you what happened to some of those bargains as I made my final leg of the trip?!? Yep, I ate a bag of the coconut goodies; quite tasty. Finally, I arrive at Danielle and Ozzie. As I got out of the van and began to walk around, I noticed a bit of gaseous concern. Well, let me tell you what, you can't eat enough junk food for an entire impoverished community in one afternoon while sitting on your "hinny" and not expect RESULTS!!!! OMG as the kiddos say. I have NEVER had such flatulence in my life! And what did my kids want to do the minute we had the car unloaded?!? GO OUT TO EAT!!!! Oh my goodness, there was just no stopping it. I probably passed enough gas to fuel a small rural community while at that restaurant and on into the evening, including shopping for groceries. Even my son-in-law was impressed, which, let me tell you takes a lot as he is the "king" of flatulence!
So, I'm writing this down for posterity in my blog so that NO ONE will allow themselves such "mincing" freedom as I took today.....it is disastrous, not only for oneself, but for all others in your vicinity! Having said that, I had a lovely evening with my children and grandchildren and look forward to a week of fun and frivolity! Hope the same for you!
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